Again.....commitment issue....PhD and one steady relationship...when i say , i mean seriously steady relationship...ok sounds cheesy and biasa jer tapi thats the thing.....i was a no-string-attached person from 2000-2001 and then beginning 2002 was trial commitment but still aint nothing that serious....summer 2002 till end of that year, nothing that i shud consider as interesting, although during my bday party, 2 guys were dancing with me from front and behind me and both tried to lure me to them...busannnn.....none yg i like pon....whadahell....winter kat msia...early 2003 till april was on another semi-commitment kinda relationship...well at least i was trying....then come summer 2003, had a silly crush to a guy yg dok blakang my umah kat clayponds....sah la jugak tah hapa2....mmg la tak harosssss...guy tu cute tapi hampeh laa , serious nyer hampeh....pastu balik to square 1 till april 2004....hmmm.....this one bengali fella...met in yahoo msger....chat2 laa tapi takde la take him seriously pon, more of dismissing him and stuff like that...pastu kitorg jumpak la kat my college, at the scr....pon just trying to be nice though i think my face mmg nampak la mcm woteva...one time tu we supposed to watch kill bill 2 together at the cinema but i got stood up mcm babisiallll jer time...fucking out...never was i stood up before....tapi sbb niat kawan2 and sangka baik, lantak pi la kan....rupak2 nya few weeks after that dia call la, bapak dia meninggal arituh.....ok la dimaafkan...still, from telecommunication point of view, an SMS wud be suffice to convey such msg. Sabar jer laa aku....
May lak si arab libya, a doctor doing research specialising on liver started an affair with me sorta...well nothing i wud say srious pon....skali tu after 3 weeks, si mangkok ayon nih pi confess that he actually got engaged with his fellow lady kat libya...mmg celaka la kan.....and the next day plak, si bengali nih pi confessed his feelings lak to me....apekejadah sumer jantan2 ni....sah gila! tapi i still kept that bengali email pasai what he wrote tu kinda sweet sebenarnya....
Sib baik aku tak delete email bengali tu, coz 3 months later we hit it off this time as boyfriend-girlfriend.....he's seemed persistent, gentleman and most of all, he never took advantage of me....he got me a DVD too, title Hum tum....sweet of him to do so....3 weeks after that, i plak la reply that May email, kalau dia kata he wanted to understand that four letter word (love) with me, i told him i'd like to learn to understand the 3 words (i love u) with him plak....so there u go...little bit of my relationship story, of how it began and all.
Alhamdulillah we r still together and going strong....jumpa pon jarang on average once per week, talk on the fon pon jarang, kalau ade pon kejap2 jer...he's busy and so do i....I hope and pray that this relationship will embark into another level and that one day we will get married and settle down and so on...and begin our marriage story pulak, me and him....I dunno why i tak plak freaked out or getting all sort of anxiety when it comes to marriage thingy.....if kitorg mmg ade jodoh, insha allah we'll end up together.....
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