Dreams are like my signs and premonitions

It may be like a miracle bestowed upon me based on my truest and deepest faith to God (albeit can be a bit mischievous and stubborn of a lady), but dreams are and have been like an almost a true source of premonition, of things that would be predicted to happen, things that are actually going on and so on, a link between 2 souls who loved each other so much, or a sort of a demonstration of how much i was disappointed with a person, a good or bad omen, etc. Well,some are just forgettable, meaningless dreams, faceless, shambled and disarrayed. Quite a few times i became some friends to some big names in Hollywood too. That include having a dream with Brad Pitt (3 times but not in a row but not that far ahead the gap of the sequence either, and I am not a big fan of his ) who befriended me and told me he was having problems with one of his former girlfriends, Gwyneth Parltrow (now the wife of Chris Martin of Coldplay). Not long after that i read in the news and saw on the tv on their breakup.


Alhamdulillah i very seldom getting nightmares but I can never forget the last one I had back in October 2005 after my viva. In it I saw a ghostly lady figure who had tormented a family in malaysia while i was still in London. Boy, did I relay that message to them and how thankful they were for having foretold such premonition despite receiving such warning that it may well be an act of a sihr (voodoo and all those black magic evil things). Scary siotttt I tell thee. No, nothing of a vampire or that sort. But that lady "tried" to fight with me in the dream that ended with the victory on my side. She appeared to be of a half woman, half serpent apparition and I sort of "killed" her. And in that dream too, her "father" came to me so furious that he got so balistic that I was his daughter's "brutal" killer. I can actually still remember him shouting at me :"Pembunuh! Kau pembunuh! Kau bunuh anak aku!" (Murderer! You are a murderer! You killed my daughter!) . Truth be told, such sihr did try to disturb the family's peace and what I have seen in the dream were actually real evil people who tried to do black magic to them. And that was actually my first ever experience that I really wish I wont have to go through it again, ever!


No, i didnt end up having a Harry Potter scar either.



Dreams like these have helped me to go through so many odds and obstacles when it comes to having a relationship with the opposite sex. How i prayed and wished silently what would be the outcome as my instincts began telling me we were not meant for each other, that it was merely infatuati0n or gap filler or that we have crossed our lines from being just ordinary mates to something else and it didnt feel right or as matter of fact, didnt go that well.

Dreams have also been a likely indication and an almost real connection between myself and maybe my mum, or my exes, and so on. I one time woken in my dream to see my dad "appeared" in my old en suite room in Vellacott House, Du Cane Road (west london). He was asking for my health and was like looking at me hoping i am doing well and all. It was so very real that in that dream i was like just awaken , lifting up my duvet upon hearing the sound of my dad in the room. That was just an example of the many true premonition or indication of the feelings that reconnect two close souls.


I dreamt how one of my exes,of whom i had the closest most intimate relationship thus far, the east london fella, about how much he loved me and how much he had wanted to be with me, and the part where we were both in his mother's homeland and so on. Amazingly, he did go there after like 6 months or so of those dreams, recurring ones even but at a different spot. And strangely enough, even though i have never been there, i actually saw things as if i was there. And those places are real.



I dreamt one time i met that ex through a newly found friend of mine and it so happened that she was his new girl. It was about 3 months or so since our last fallout and in that dream he didnt even wanna look at me. That "girl" seemed so nice, that she prepared snacks, food and all for me as her guest. And by the time i was about to leave, i asked her which bus would take me to central london. Coz once i am there i will be just fine on finding my way around. She and that ex discussed in front of me, his eyes never really met mine, and they settled on either bus route 53 or 26. Strange enough, once i woke up (in my parents house in Bangi, Malaysia), I quickly went through the bus map and found out that both routes indeed came from east london and their last terminal would be around trafalgar sq and somewhere near The Strand.


And those were only dreams.



I also dreamt how much that ex kept coming towards me, from the end of last year trying to woo me again and so on, and i kept pushing him away, ignoring him and the whole shebang.


And I also dreamt that my soon to be ex was not really that bloody serious with me. A coward and a self absorbed man he can be, but a caring one too. OK I am a bit of a self-absorbed person too but with more sensibility and in a positive way. We both have yet to really fall in love and now we are already growing apart. All because his family opposed my existence in his life and he had had the audacity to tell me that he just could not love me to fight for both of us to be together. Boohooo....what a fucking retard. Good thing i never really bow down and surrendered my feelings to him too. I am just too posh and an ice queen . I need reassurance and he failed to do so almost miserably. I didnt even shed one tear, ok i lied, just one tear drop and its all sunshine again.


In that dream, both of us visited a girl mate at another country (the scene was supposed to be somewhere in Spain). I was about to tell them the fact that many Greek people can be a bit too into their own kind when I saw him kissing her cheek fondly and held up the tip of her chin and looking at each other's eyes lovingly. That dream ended there. I woke up with some feelings that something aint going fine soon and I am ready to accept the outcome. Not that I dont sense that things were getting more obvious that we were slowly drifted in the different current direction....


It is never a full stop "quest" and "an adventure" to find the one who will truly loves me and ask for my hand and so on and he is in the rightful mind, stable, likeminded and shares many similar thingssssss (that many ssss is meant for soooooo many things i am not bothered to spell out further ). Even though the east londoner ex was so deep into me, he was still struggling to make ends meet and that he has issues with his family. Somehow i also dreamt that I saw him as a successful entrepeneur that he had always wished for and I would not mind extending a friendship with him knowing that he can never get me out of his head....I am like a force of nature or so it is.


Honestly, I am happy that my guardian angels and God love me so much. And i have never stopped believing that He has the best laid plan for me.

And my mum is trying her luck again to try to match me up with some fella known to be a friend of a member of our family. Sabar jer laa....heck who knows, her persistence may soon hit the jackpot, wallahu a'lam (And Allah knows more).

No matter how awkward it can be at times, I did stay as friends with those exes.....(many that have remained friends)