At the dawn of The New Year 2008, I shall...

Hmmmm.......let me think.....lotta things in my mind but I guess I will strive to better whatever necessary for the greater good of all human kind the survival (of the fittest).


Here's a clip from one of my all-time favourite movies: When harry met sally, during the moment they met once again during the new year eve and Harry began confessing all what he has felt for Sally all those while:

One thing for sure, I've been blogging for over 3 years now, but I only made the blog public in 2006. It was a bit jumbled up, contains haphazard sort of entries, not really something you should be checking down the archives but they reflected what those times were for me. It might have been one blog malarkey had i not seen what it would implicate in my life.

There was one time I wrote on my disappointment of not being able to attend the graduation day in the middle of 2006 but thank God, I made it this year. I only came to realize it recently when I did my own archive browsing. But please, under any circumstances, refrain yourself from going through them (rather inarticulate to put it mildly). After all, this is a biasa-biasa-sahaja (petty and trivial presentation) blog and does not even deserved to be remembered when was its 100th, 200th postings, anniversaries and so on.


But I've made friends with some of the bloggers in my "hot spot" list. Some I have met in the real life while others are cyber mates or somewhat close to that. Some are actually my real life old buddies/colleagues and I hope I aint giving some impression that I am here to open a can of worms.


I neither have a proper list of the New Year resolution nor do i really stick to everything that I've thought of as my own personal goals, but nevertheless, I do make my own mental notes of what I would really, really want to achieve in this year. Call me incorrigible but I reckon as a muslim, we are taught to persevere to do the best we can and when we have come to a certain point of our efforts, we execute them by tawakkal (submission with all our faith) to God for He knows better and He is the Almighty One, The omnipotent and the ever living.



Silent wishes and prayers they may be to any mortal but I never shy of asking them to be granted by Him. If he allows it, then so be it.



But above all, what i really do know now is that I am S.I.N.G.L.E again! There you go, my own personal declaration statement and not an iota ashamed of it (dalam hati please please please pretty please let there be single, available rightfully man for me!!!!!!!! ). Of all the things, MJ has chosen to uphold his traditions and would rather prefer to let his parents match him up with his local birds. A bit sad innit, but we are friends nonetheless. Ala2 teman tapi mesra, TTM.


(another clips: Single by Natasha Bedingfield , please click here).



Bismillahirrahmanirraheem, in the name of Allah, the most gracious, the most merciful, I am hereby stepping into the year 2008 with refreshed spirit, revived mind and rejuvenated soul and hoping for more good things to come inshallah. The wiser, the sexier, the fitter, the healthier, the better, ameen.

khob khun ka, thailand

A traveller, yes I am.....A citizen of the world, indeed I am.


And I had my aidil adha doing training course in the middle of bangkok last 20th Dec 2007 (Thursday). My fellow 4 lecturer colleagues and I did not miss our solat sunnat eid adha as we all performed it at 8.00am on our own in each of our hotel room (Century Park Hotel, Pratunam, Bangkok). Takbeer raya pon sendiri-sendiri laa....



That was my first time ever to see bangkok with my own eyes. I had a long transit in the old airport, Don Muang almost 3 decades ago and this time, we landed at the new, more trendy yet looked like some sort of a massive concert stage roof layout structure Suvarnabhumi Airport. Bangkok is a huge capital city and we prolly need like a week or more to cover many parts of it. So we settled with what was nearer, more reachable from our hotel. We were there for the membrane technology course on water treatment and so we tried to manage the little time we had left to get to know the city. Some of us shopped more items in MBK, Pratunam market and Suan Lum night bazaar and had to buy another bag to fill up those merchandises/souvenirs. Alas, I didnt get to be at Patpong, wherein lies the hot spot in bangkok (easily reachable by Sky Train , a public transport that uses a light rapid transit train on the high railway above the busy roads), as no one really wanna accompany me there. It's ok, I'll do that trip if I am in bangkok again in the future. Does tiger show ring any bell?




ON the last day (Friday), we headed to menam chao phraya riverbank and just taking some photos of the views and a very short sightseeing of the Grand Palace. Prior to that, we did our solat jama' qasr at the Bangkok Central Mosque, located a wee bit out of the heart of the city yet on the same highway to Suvarnabhumi (pronounced as Su-wanna-bhoom). We had the pleasure of rental car service driven by a local muslim Thai by the name of Maleekee or better known in his Thai name: Adisak Mamu on Tuesday and Friday, where he picked us up from the airport on our arrival and sending us back there for our return journey while assisting us on some little detouring (pusing2 that is) around the city.



La gon, Bangkok, may we see each other again soon. Even though you are packed with 10s of millions of people there doing whatever job possible just to earn enough baht for the day, you are still an enigma to me. And I have always intrigued by anything enigmatic. And so is you. And nice ladyboys too!

Melayan sebarang pertanyaan

Its been a while since i have been tagged. But to be honest with u, i have some few more tags undone, KIV so to speak.

To ryzah, thanks for tagging me. It looked like some simple enough questions that made me hesitated no further and just belasah with some "plausible" answers.

Here they go:


1) Name of a person who made you laugh last night

MJ....it was his birthday. And i ended up having some mood swings, and in tears. Mixed of happiness, gratitudes, and melancholia all jumbled up.


2) What were you doing at 0800?

Ummmm...believe it or not, after fajar prayers, i took my usual quick sleep but it terlajak till 10.00am! good thing takde important meetings and so on. Blame it on the rainy day. It's been raining since yesterday, almost the whole day, and it continued to wet the bangi-kajang ground today.


3) What were you doing 30mnts ago?

I had my dinner.


4) What happened to you in 2006?

Where do i begin? mostly on the adjusting period....lotsa things i need to learn and catch up regarding the job, university systems and so on. And yeah, bought my first ever car and a house which i have yet to call it habitable till now. Need to apply another loan for renovations and refurbishment.


5) What was the last thing you said out loud?

Congratulations to my first ever Masters student for completing his course successfully.


6) How many beverages did you have today?

Let me see....not that much. Today i didnt drink that much water/beverages and it was rather cold in my office. Yesterday I had 3-in-1 hot choc and coke among other things.


7) What colour is your hairbrush?

A silver vidal sasoon.


8) What was the last thing you paid for?

Online PC instalment to citibank.



9) Where were you last night?

Somewhere between Cheras and Kajang.


10) What colour is your front door?

Dark mahogany brown.


11) Where do you keep your change?

In my wallet, and some few in the car. I used to keep them in a tabung for laundry uses back in the UK.


12) What's the weather like today?

Wet, wet , wet.....gloomy....pretty much reminded me of UK typical weather.


13) What's the best ice-cream flavour?

The best?? how about letting me settle with Pralines and Cream(haagen dazs or baskin robbins), Strawberry and cream (haagen dazs), Choc Fudge Brownie (ben n jerry)


14) What excites you?

In what way? Need me to spell them out? it could be of physical matter as i ni cepat geli, or it could have been like travelling to a new place, or meeting him, getting what i wanted after i've worked hard on it, animals , cool car, the ocean view or lake view or clean river view, lotsa flowers around in the garden, beefed up gorgeous looking men passing by for cuci mata, fitting dress and shoes that i like while doing my shopping now and then, lovely cool weather, cruising down the road at a higher speed.....


15) Do you want to cut your hair?

More like trimming them, yeah...i have not done more than a year now, so maybe i should do some sort of a hair treatment all together at the local hair salon.

16) Are you over the age of 25?

On the birth certificate, yeah....but it changes with the mood and the way i dress.


17) Do you talk a lot?

With the good company of people, yeah.


18) Do you watch the O.C?

Sometimes. It's not that bad.


19) Do you know anyone named Steven?

Come to think of it....i usually call them steve.


20) Do you make up your own words?

Hmmm....i create gelaran for people....


21) Are you a jealous person?

A little bit...and sometimes over the board unconsciously. But usually just mild ones so far.


22) Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'A'

Azizah.


23) Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'K'

hmmmm....karina


24) Who's the first person on your received call list?

Dr. S R S A


25) What does the last text message you received say?

It was an offer from Citibank.....

26) Do you chew on your straw?

Nope.


27) Do you have curly hair?

Not really....more like slighlty wavy hair...



28) Where's the next place you're going to?

It could be around PD inshallah.


29) Who's the rudest person in your life?

I cant say who, more like people in general...the rude ones usually can be found on the road and at the cashier counter.



30) What was the last thing you ate?

Nasi goreng.


31) Will you get married in the future?

Inshallah.


32) What's the best movie you've seen in the past 2 weeks?

Hmm.....almost takde.


33) Is there anyone you like right now?

However inarticulately as i may wanna put it, yes there is one.


34) When was the last time you did the dishes?

Right after my dinner.

35) Are you currently depressed?

Mood swingssss....but it is disappearing gradually.....

36) Did you cry today?

More like shedding quite a few tears last night. Mood swings stimulated it!


37) Why did you answer and post this?

Beats the crap out of me.


38) Tag 5 people who would do this survey.

Makji Esah, Typhoon Sue, Hazlinda Kim, Ruby Ahmad, Abang Idham, and saper2 la yg nak volunteer do the tag....

Kid at heart: Genting Highlands

18 years ago, I went to Genting Highlands on a , guess what: a school trip! We were clad in those white baju kurung, blue skirt, white shoes, sling or knapsack, and white tudung and we had a good time even though none of us took the rollercoaster ride. We got on bumper cars, ferris wheel, revolving cup and rides that didnt involve blowing our skirts up!

Yesterday, I went there again, for the second time of my life. This time, I had more fun, with great and loving company, great atmosphere and yea, i was gambolling around like a little girl. I had icecream, and sometimes i jumped, skipped to my delight. And I also sat on the steel railing while waiting for my turn to get on the ride, took the high-flying, merry go round swing called the spinner with much, much younger kids, went around sometimes in circle on that pedalo boat and had lotsa laughs. I remembered kak ruby wrote on the young at heart article (read here) and i must say that if there would be any of my students saw me like that in genting, they would either be telling themselves that our lecturer is one cool woman or maybe: hey, she is like no other lecturer we knew.


Even though genting highlands was pretty much normal to me, as i've been to bigger, more exciting rollercoasters like the one in Blackpool, UK, it was the cool weather and the ambiance that really makes me wanna stay there longer.


And to my guy, thank you babe for spending time with me. Kisses and hugs.

Mother's love

The first few months after i came back from my PhD studies early 2006, things were pretty good between me and my mum. Come a few months later, our relationship were somehow on the rock. It's like an on-off bickering and shouting drama scenes. But the worse one began last February. It was then that I stopped talking that much with my mother. Anger for so many things , frustrations and so on. I knew that I shouldnt be doing the "anak kurang ajar" type but i can be such a temperamental woman.

One time, i went ballistic over something between me and her that I decided to pack some clothes and drove straight to one of my friends house in Puncak Alam. Cruising on my own in the night time down the highway gave some calming feelings, sort of soothing the wounded heart. The faster i drove, the more i get pacified. She probably got worried when she realized that i was still not home yet that she rang my mobile at 5.00am to check on me. I monotonously told her that I was at a friend's house. I reckon no matter what, I am still her daughter and she still concerns about me.

Somehow, all those disagreements and grudges probably aren't meant to be forever especially when it comes to mother-children bonding. Though I am on a better term with my mother, I still don't talk as much as i was during those good old days. One of the highlights during the last ramadhan was when she made the effort of trying to make up with me, her strongwilled, hotheaded, sometimes crazy daughter. I began to slowly rejoicing our relation sensing how she was trying as hard as she can that no matter how kurang ajar i can be, i am more than that. The moment when I was leaving to Melbourne on the second week of Ramadhan (3rd week of september), she just mellowed down remarkably and even packed me iftar dinner as I was going to the airport on my own by KLIA Limo service.


Then, there was the eid fitri. It went on fine between the family members until the third day of Shawal (monday evening). I let go off my steams when i voiced out my yet another major disappointment at how things were poorly managed between us that involved one of my brother in laws. Till today, i don't feel like talking to him at all. I flipped like nobody's business to the point of denying my mother to sit in the front seat of my car and somehow commanding her to join my father in the backseat because i was still totally livid.


Recently, I introduced MJ to her and my father. And since that day, she was more cheerful with me. Sure, I know one of the reasons of all those fucked up times was the fact that I am still unmarried. It's like she's demonstrating her utter worries knowing the fact that 3 of my younger siblings were already married besides my eldest sister.


OK, fuck that. I am getting better and better at being such a melodramatic freak that I think I had to put a stop on that.


Here are some pictures depicting mother's love:

source of the photos: AP Yahoo!

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England won't be making it in the Euro2008! What a shame! Losing to Croatia 2-3 on the qualifying match recently was also the predicament both for the England coach and his assistant, Steve McLaren and Terry Venables as they were sacked almost immediately. Goran Ivanisevic, the former no.2 tennis ace and Wimbledon 2001 champion has predicted it right on the Croatia winning (click here)

Let our hearts sing!

Lighten up our Friday! I am too lazy to write and so i let those graphics do the job.
























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What is commitment???

(Articles copied by googling commitment)


Case 1: A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution.

"Great idea!" the chicken cried. "Let's offer them ham and eggs?"

"Not so fast," said the pig. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment."

Case 2: A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck, get the hell away from me."

Case 3: A guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward ... I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: ... so that means it was... let's see.... February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means ... lemme check the odometer ... Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a darn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.

And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a darn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their ....

"Roger," Elaine says aloud.

"What?" replies Roger, startled.

"Don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes brimming with tears. "Maybe I should never have ... Oh my, I feel so ..." (She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" asks Roger.

"I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" asks Roger.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine continues

"No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.

"It's just that ... It's that I ... I need some time," Elaine says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.) "Yes," he says.

Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand. "Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?" she says.

"What way?" says Roger.

"That way about time," says Elaine.

"Oh," says Roger. "Yes."

Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks. "Thank you, Roger."

"Thank you," says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say:

"Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?"


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I am trying not to be melodramatic when it comes to commitment!

Words of advice from Abang Idham:

"it is better to have a man who treats the word 'LOVE' as sacred and says it only for special occasion than a man who says love to every girl he wants to kiss"

" the present is often missed because we anticipate too much on the future based on our past"

The archive posts

As i looked back to my old entries in the archive, I have just realized something:

1. I wrote something on the fact that i've never been down under (australia), and last september, I've made it. I didnt realize that it was some sort of a subconscious wish what with all those Australian Open in Melbourne, and it actually came true.
2. I was up to the point of expressing my dismay of unable to attend my graduation day last May 2006, but alhamdulillah I finally got my chance last May 2007.

It's autumn in the northern hemisphere part of the world and it has been 2 years since I passed my PhD viva. And not too long after that I was diagnosed with hypertension. How ironic this PhD as a supposedly short form of Permanent health Damage! It was not just my third and final tertiary education degree from the world 5th ranking university as published by Times Higher Education for the 2007 list (which saw no Malaysian universities made it in the top 200 list), but it also left an almost permanent scar.

31st October = Halloween day. Not a significant day in malaysia yet it was one of those days that my college mates and I did something crazy together. Not totally crazy but oh well, we'd dress up as some freaky monster. That was in 2001 and 2002 though. In 2003, I went to the Black Widow pub down Gloucester Road with 2 of my research group mates and we were given some free santa claus hats? OK sorry, that was our Christmas thingie before the holiday kicked in. Dont worry, I am a staunch teetotal...no need to worry about whether i downed some alcohol or anything close to some few drops of it in my drink. Yea, now i remember, I stopped doing this Halloween stuff from 2003 and onwards to pay my respect to Ramadan fasting month.

Early weeks of November, apart from missing those Lord Mayor Parade in South bank side, I'd opt to go to those bonfire night instead. And i managed to go to one of its fireworks sites in Ravenscourt Park. That was the nearest I stood next to a huge bonfire with some ear-deafening yet totally awesome firework pyrotechnics. The rest were mostly just watching from afar including from my old flat's bedroom window. As cliche and cheesy at times this fireworks maybe, i still would get excited watching those colourful flares lighting up the sky, doesnt matter where on earth I'd be. A bit similar to watching those snowflakes even though i've seen them for like the umpteenth time.


What I'm getting in Malaysia??? A face to face with Sean Ghazi, no fireworks between us of course but it was definitely an uplifting experience to meet a local artiste with international flair who can naturally speaks good English. No bonfire night in Malaysia, but inshallah, there'll be more "fire" relight inside of me soon.

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I knew those words i said may have hurt my mother so many times but i dunno, ever since i am back in Malaysia, I've thrown my tantrums quite so often that I prefer to stay quiet when I am at home. Contrary to the popular believe where office and work can add more stress to one's life, i am an opposite case. I seek my solace in my office. I laugh more when i am with some of my work colleagues than i do so at home. Yes, i have bought a new house but i am yet to be able to move there due to limited savings. I hope i can apply another loan especially for new house renovation and refurbishment so it'll be ready to be habitable, hence another of my personal haven.

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On a lighter note, I have bought a new desktop for home use. My old pc is already nearly 6 years old and being Dell, not just any RAM can be bought and fit in without consulting Dell PC. One little yet rather sickening problem: new pc supported MS Vista as XP is slowly phasing out of the market except by personal request on ordering a new pc. Both my HP printer and digicam photo uploading software do not support Vista. Consequently I still am relying on my old PC (good old PC, bought it in london yet received the whole set "made in malaysia". The new one has Made In China stamped all over the place) for printing and photo uploading purpose. Not that big hassle la, but it is also an early indication that whatever new electronic gadget i'll be buying in the future, it must support Vista as its ultimate OS (and its basic requirement has to be of XP-compliance). My new office PC is pre-installed with XP, which is a good thing as it is compatible to many softwares available.


And i bought this new Dell pc on a 12-month interest free credit card scheme. That would keep my options open on how i'll be paying it later within the 12 months period of course.

I am yet to own a laptop. I think i am one of those few people in the developed world who has never own a laptop but to date has bought a desktop for the third time. My virgin experience with owning a pc using my own pocket money was way back in Bradford, autumn 1998 during my undergraduate studies. The second was in early spring 2002. I love electronic gadgets tawwwww, but i am patient on when i can afford to lavish myself with equipping myself with woteva state-of-the-art latest technology gadgets. I hope to be able to get a new set of laptop once i get my own research grant.


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We had to incorporate Kemahiran Insaniah (human capital) evaluation in our final year grading. Hmmm...that is equal to more works to do.

Boudoir inspiration, Sunday matinee and Subang Bestari

Nothing beats a more relaxing and money worth spending hotel room than to have: A spacious bathroom, a luxurious and comfortable bed and a great view from across the window (and possibly a balcony). Yet, what is more convenient than to have a comfortable space around the room, lightings/illuminations u can control at the touch of a button next to your bed, calmness and serenity it brings us with good sound absorber (and excellent window double-glazing, helps to keep the room temperature steady during cold nights besides muffling the outside noise), warm shade of colours all around us to arouse the romantic mood and the right ambience, good room temperature settings and of course, smart internal security lock just so that we will get better sleeps at night especially if one is practically a single occupier or we just need a full privacy.




Some photos taken at some angles inside my room in melbourne:




Sengaja mess the bed so it'll give some homey feelings to it, and to remind me how comfortable the bed was



Not gonna design my bedroom this way, but some of it yea, especially the tv position and the study desk next to the window.





Dengan ini saya telah merasmikan katil ini. Sekian terima kasih. Only thing missing is a gorgeous lover.....



Vanity mirror...Must take note on having that in my bedroom.





Hmmm.....remind me to get a bigger, more spacious, bali-like/hawaii-like/bora-bora like hotel suites for my honeymoon. With bigger bathtub equipped with jacuzzi waters-streams, fresh seabreezes right through the windows, some nice, easy-listening musics with good surround system and speakers, divan across the room, sweet aromatherapy (candles, potpourris and whatnots).....did i just imagine a softporn scene here.....i think NOT!




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Sunday, 28 October 2007, 3.00pm, Istana Budaya


Yeay....alone yet happy and satisfied! I managed to catch the show PRamlee the Musical yesterday and I must say that I was perpetually lifted (by my own courage to go and watch it on my own first of all) by the whole ensemble.

This was also my first ever show at Istana Budaya and i was glad I went for it. Moreover, I managed to dress up the way i had wanted it from my own wardrobe that was suitable for both the show and the open house function, which i attended right after i left Istana Budaya at Subang Bestari. Deciding on what to wear and where to buy the clothes i want is never really an easy task all the while in Malaysia. I know my whereabouts and which shops i would target in London but here, I probably have to resort to those London high street shops like Dorothy Perkins or something like that around KL. The nearest megamall would be the Midvalley Megamall in bangsar, but it's not really around my neighbourhood unlike Alamanda Putrajaya, The Mines Wonderland, Jusco Taman Equine and IOI Mall Puchong. At least I can still buy shoes and some office clothes at some of the shops/boutiques there but not casual, trendy ones that I like and fit me well. Whatever hell the reason that most shops in those malls sell clothes of chinese-far east asian cuttings i do not know. Yeah, sure, that would definitely gain them more chinese, and typical malay customers with those petit 5ft 3 frames but not me unfortunately. They dont even make a regular size for people of 5ft 5 and above like me! Their XL pun either too londeh on the shoulder or only befitting those chubby 5 ft 3 ladies.

I need more shops, please!!!! like Principles, Sisley, Uniqlo, Oasis, Walis, GAP, River Islands, and many2 more shops that does size 12, 14 and 16 for regular sized people like me. So far malaysia has arrays of nice local boutique shops that does all that indie-manik2, sequence, bohemia-gypsy-malay-ish clothes, and skirts and tudungs but I need more than just that! Not many clothes in Reject Shop that i like pon, and those yang i would consider lak, are not cut for me!



OK, back to PRamlee the Musical.



One thing for sure, none of the main casts are the repeat ensemble of PGL (puteri gunung ledang the musical, of which i missed watching it due to my previously poor financial conditions).
Sean Ghazi, who played PRamlee has lived up to his name as a calibre west end-cum-singer extraordinaire. The main female protagonist, Saloma, played by liza hanim has almost brought the legendary "sally" back to life with those trademark manja-ness yet no-fuss persona. The story was told in 4 different eras of PRamlee: the first being his prepubescent years adoring the aristocrat's daughter azizah, his personal muse, the second one is the early making of a legend in Penang while still wooing azizah (played by Siti Nurhaliza, not her best acting performance but her live vocal talent is undoubtedly a pure bliss), the third part revolving around the golden malay movie era at Studio Jalan Ampas, Singapore in the 1950s and early 1960s and the fourth part was the last few moments of PRamlee before his demise in Kuala Lumpur in 1973, also made into the opening scene showing PRamlee composing one of his last songs, Air Mata di Kuala Lumpur, on the grand piano while accompanied by his darling wife, Saloma during a rainstorm.


It's definitely money worth spending on this show, although i am not sure why should i be spending more than RM100. They have good props, good lightings, variety of clothes/costumes that suits the era and mood, and most of them speak in a clear intonation.


It was not the greatest show on earth but I left the theatre feeling rather entertained and adoring PRamlee and his sheer love for film arts without stressing on the profit making more and more. Some scenes can be a bit dragging but hey, like Adlin Aman Ramlie the co-director (and i saw him standing at the entrance foyer smoking after the show) said in the New Straits Time: "It’s not easy to please everybody, but I hope I have done justice to the story". His aim was to be able to squeeze in the 4 different love stories of PRamlee with 4 women who have inspired him towards his acting and singing career as well as his movie-making talents.


Congratulations are in order for the producer herself, Tiara Jacquelina as the mastermind behind this successful sold-out musical theatre show and the whole production team. Even though she did not appear on the stage at all this time, her casts have made the audience reeling from the wonderful emotions having patiently endured a 3-hour show. To be honest, I would love to have shaken hands with Tiara and many of the cast members especially Sean Ghazi and Liza Hanim but I could not spare more time there as I was rushing to go to Subang Bestari, a new residential area in Kampung Subang and that I have never been there before. It was eventually a long drive away but i managed to arrive safe and sound thank god for my progressively reliable navigation skills around klang valley.

I jumpa AC Mizal and his pregnant wife, Emilia Rosnaida on my way to the car park. As she looked kinda preoccupied, I didnt go n talk to her but instead said hello to AC, who was manouvering his "posh" black 4WD slowly towards the public entrance staircase and asked about his wife. And that parking lot officer who kept coming near me and trying to be rather helpful and friendly from the moment i drove into the free parking area all the way to the time when i was leaving. I supposed he thought he was doing his best chivalry of helping me around seeing that i was alone and all. Anyways, he found a good parking spot for me so i should be thankful, innit? I reckon there are always good people around especially during Visit Malaysia 2007....

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It was indeed a long way to Subang Bestari, home to my old kisas classmate, Siti Zured and hubby Ramzi. She had invited me a few days earlier to her open house function yesterday and yet she would not mind me arriving at her place after maghrib as the show ended at 6.15pm. We were close mates during our form 4 to form 5 but we havent seen each other for almost 13 years. She also made another arrangement with another close buddy of us, Warda, who came with her daughter all the way from Seri Kembangan. We were once a trio but as we slowy edging up towards SPM, we became engrossed with our own world and i got closer to another mate, mira. Somehow, i managed to keep in touch now and then with Zured yet i lost contact all together with Warda. Last year we were trying to plan for our first ever reunion, the three of us, but it didnt materialize due to a certain circumstances and time clash. However, Warda saw me at Jusco Taman Equine on the day that we supposed to meet for the 1st time. And then, it took us almost another 10 months before Zured finally managed to get us all back together. Despite knowing the long distance and having to brave through new roads and all, Warda and I persevered in the name of friendship, each driving on her own from different locations.

I guess when the niat is good, God will help ease our way, and that was the case with our first ever "grand" meeting. Believe me, as we have missed so many things on each other's life, to be able to tell all the (momentous and more relevant) happy and sad stories we had in 2 hours was far from enough, perhaps it was the tip of the iceberg. Yet, we managed to get some gists of what we needed to know as far as first meeting after 13 years is concerned. Both are married and with kids except me. But we all were very happy for each other's successes in life. None of them went to each other's wedding reception and they would hope that i would make way for that to happen.

Funny how we met when we were not yet 16 but all three of us do not change much in the physical appearance except being prettier, womanly and more diva(thats me laaa hehe...). May there be more meetings to come, inshallah.

cameron highlands 07-09 Sept 2007 and on ramadhan food

The first weekend of September, we had our department Colloquium and Family day in Cameron Highlands, Pahang. I was the treasurer for this program. All the committee members led by Prof.Dr. Abdul Amir and Assoc.Prof.Dr. Zahira have been working really hard in realizing this program, which we didnt manage to do last year due to budget constraints. Although it was meant for our department academic and supporting staffs, it would not take place if it wasnt for the commitment of the committee members and the full support of all the department staffs in general.



This Cameron Highlands trip was the second trip ever for me there. The first one was way back in 1990, thats 17 years ago, when i was in form 2. I joined our secondary school excursion but unfortunately, that particular cameron highlands trip wasnt the joyous trip for me. I went because i've never been there before and I know I will have to wait for a long time before i could go there with my family. We were already a big family of 10 and obviously we could not fit into our old small proton saga car that time at one go. Therefore, i decided to ask my parents for some extra pocket money to join this school trip and many other school trips organized by the school.


Anyways, this second trip, I had a really wonderful time. Even though we didnt really get much time to spend touring around this popular tourist temperate-climate destination due to our packed program and short weekend, we managed to enjoy whatever moment we had together be it the colloquium program, family day sports carnival or those short trips around some of the places around town. I tried to remember what I did and where i went 17 years ago, but most of the memories seemed irrelevant to me. All i could recall were this passion fruit discovery, some english roses, staying at some cheap hotel along the shophouses and met with two very friendly Pahang policemen who went on chatting with me nearby the cheap hotel lobby for whatever reason i couldnt really remember much except some funny and not so funny stories on their experience working with the pahang sultan.



This recent trip, we stayed at Century Pines Resort, Tanah Rata. It was not the plushest hotel (rated 4 star) but one of the (uncanny) things i could remember the most was my little encounters with this cute Burmese hotel caretaker/room service fella. He was just about my height ( 5 ft 5 inches) but he sure has this cute, innocent, kuning langsat flawless skin face. IN the first few times he came to my room sending some items i asked for, i couldnt tell whether he was local or not. He has this pahang-terengganu sweet look, couldve been some bit of japanese takuya kimura looks, too (or saper2 la cute japanese actor with lovely big, slanting eyes, and nice thick lock of jetblack hair) . Wa takde la crush or jatoh centa, beb, saje suka2 cuci mata gitewww. Then on the final night (saturday night), I called the room service again to check the shower head in my room and they sent him (again). He took a look and check the faulty (loose) head and told me he had to get a new set of washer to tighten the grip. He came back after like 10 minutes and began working on the shower head. As he was not that tall, i asked him to just step into the bath tub instead of struggling to stretch his feet up. He didnt speak much but i thought (dengan gatalnya sikit) whats wrong with having some short conversation (on the technical aspect of the shower and maintenance of course) with him and somehow he replied in some mixed malay-funny accent. I took it as my cue as I straightforwardly asked him where is he from. And he said in a casual yet monotonous answer: Myanmar. Those short communication i had with him kinda ease up any usual awkwardness especially that I am a single (goodlooking) woman occupying the room on my own and he is a dude. It's like showing him my own prerogative and my own prowess (?) that sort of sending him the message that hey i am ok, u just do your work and be gone.

I dunno some myanmar/burmese dude would look cute like that. Thai guys i know, but burmese, besides those monks struggling against those Junta on the rally for democratic myanmar and campaigning to free Aung San Su Kyi, i havent a clue much on the "cuteness" level there. But now that i found one who is far from the typical burmese dark sawo matang looks, i rest my case on burmese men (on the not so goodlooking indochinese looks part). No offence to any burmese around, but it's good to know that cute guys do exist there, i jer yang tak perasan.

Special nursery area for flowers at MARDI cameron highlands

Saujana mata memandang at Bharat Tea plantation

I am doing my best "belilah Cameronian Tea" promotion attempt

I've got my MOJO (and grooves) back!

I knew that I need to get away from Malaysia (or away from klang valley) and go somewhere fun or exotic to reinstore my mojo and grooves back. Why is it mattered so much to me? Hell yeah it does. It's to do a lot with refreshing one's mind esp in those places I visited , i get a good relaxing moments, enjoying breathtaking views and some bit of a good old chitchat with some goodlooking fellas....no, i am not gatal or anything....but some little flirt and attention from the opposite sex does something to my self-esteem hence my mojo and grooves! It doesnt do much around here but when it comes to holidaying, it kinda give me some spiced up effect? Light-headed, laughing, no work stress....no wonder i feel so much healthier (and lighter due to lotsa walking around) everytime i come back from a delightful trip.

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I must confess that I still owe a few tags to do but since this is a call for ramadhan food (and only during ramadhan), I reckon i'll have a go at it. So, Ija, here are the list of foods that I would drool over definitely eat during Ramadhan. Mind u that i no longer am that big eater or having lotsa food cravings...My taste bud gets more and more exclusive and my tummy gets less and less expanding power and with somewhat low level of kepedasan threshold/endurance.



Name 5 food that you feel like having for iftar la, but not on the same day:


1. McDonald’s beef foldover (sama la kita. Somehow, I have become a beef lover this year, I'd go for beef anytime over chicken and I do not know why)

2. Good old ikan bakar (siakap (seabass), or tenggiri (kingfish) or even the humble ikan kembung (mackarel) cicah sambal asam

3. Beef lasagna

4. Meehoon bandung muar (must be with beef)

5. KuayTeow Kerang (i just had it during our iftar today, my mum cooked it)



Name 5 food you would like to have for breakfast if you could (as in sahur, ok):


1. A 1/4 plate of Nasi putih with sambal sotong and sayur kailan/sawi goreng kicap

2. Hot Baguette sandwich with tuna, mature cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato and butter

3. Rich-fibre bread sandwich with cheese and tomato

4. Good old creamy Greek yoghurt with dollop of honey and a cuppa hot choc

5. A 1/4 plate of nasi putih and tomyam campur.



Name 5 food you would most likely buy for berbuka today:

1. Tau foo fa

2. Tepung pelita

3. Air tebu or soya

4. Chicken/beef murtabak

5. Air kelapa muda straight from the coconut, together with its soft white flesh.

I feel blessed

I Am Blessed
(by Eternal)


Ooh, hmm
Here in the silence I say a prayer
Though I've never seen you somehow I know you're there
You're in the faces of the people that I meet
You're as silent as the Earth beneath my feet
So if I should complain that all I have is not enough

Forgive me, I've been given so much



And I am blessed, every time I look into my baby's eyes
I think of all the friends who've touched my life
I realise in a world where some have more and some have less
I have love and I am blessed

So many changes this world can put you through
Sometimes it's hard to find a way if a heart can get confused
But then I hold you and it all falls into place
You've given me what time cannot erase
So when I'm feeling down or feel sorry for myself
I look around and it's easy to tell



That I am blessed, every time I look into my baby's eyes
I think of all the friends who touched my life
I realise in a world where some have more and some have less
I have love and I am blessed




Every time I look into my baby's eyes

I realise I think of all the friends who touched my life

And I am blessed (I am blessed)
Every time I look into my baby's eyes (I look into your eyes)
I think of all the friends who have touched my life
I realise (I realise) you've given me such peace and happiness
In this world where some have more and some have less
I am loved
And I am blessed

g'day from down under!

hehe....short blog from melbourne. Been here for 4 days and it's been marvellous....i'm glad i'm actually having my fast here in the midst of lovely spring time.

Today is the Chemeca2007 conference final day. And later in the midnite (thats thursday early morning) i'll be flying back to KL.

What A PLUSH hotel, and what lovely atmosphere here....definitely will think of coming back to melbourne. Friendly people too. And plenty of chinese....doesnt matter where is their country of origin (includes malaysia) but the chinatown is definitely one of the significant landmark in the heart of the city.

First time down under and it sure is far from disappointing. Yupp, i am like down under the planet earth....funny huh?

Let us observe Ramadhan

Salam Ramadhan kareem to all, may we observe the fasting of Ramadhan steadfastly, full of humility aiming to ask for blessings (barakah), forgivings (maghfirah) and Allah's good pleasure and satisfaction (mardhatillah).

From Al-Baqarah (The Cow) 2:265

"And the likeness of those who spend their substance, seeking to please Allah and to strengthen their souls, is as a garden, high and fertile: heavy rain falls on it but makes it yield a double increase of harvest, and if it receives not Heavy rain, light moisture sufficeth it. Allah seeth well whatever ye do"


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An interesting article from Islamicity.

"Fasting in Ramadan develops in a person the real spirit of social belonging, of unity and brotherhood, and of equality before God. This spirit is the natural product of the fact that when people fast they feel that they are joining the whole Muslim society (which makes up more than one fifth of world's population) in observing the same duty, in the same manner, at the same time, for the same motives, and for the same end. No sociologist or historian can say that there has been at any period of history anything comparable to this powerful institution of Islam: Fasting in the month of Ramadan. People have been crying throughout the ages for acceptable 'belonging', for unity, for brotherhood, for equality, but how echoless their voices have been, and how very little success they have met..." says Hammudah Abdalati, in Islam in Focus.


"What is fasting?" "How does the fasting of Muslims in Ramadan differ from the fasting of other faiths?" "Why should one 'torture' one's body in the first place?" "What do you really gain from fasting in the end?"...These are a few questions that a number of non-Muslim friends and colleagues often ask us, usually out of fascination with this spiritually-uplifting practice of Islamic faith, and at times out of pity and sympathy for us, thinking, why should anyone suffer from hunger and thirst like Muslims? I wouldn't be surprised if many of us shared the same negative perception of Fasting.

It is important to note that Fasting in Arabic is called, "Sawm", which literally means 'to be at rest'. Fasting in the month of Ramadan (the 9th month of the Islamic lunar calendar) is one of the Five Pillars upon which the "house" of Islam is built. During this month, every able-bodied Muslim, is required to fast, everyday from dawn until dusk .

12 Reasons To Fast!

1. Fasting is an institution for the improvement of moral and spiritual character of human being. The purpose of the fast is to help develop self-restraint, self-purification, God-consciousness, compassion, the spirit of caring and sharing, the love of humanity and the love of God. Fasting is a universal custom and is advocated by all the religions of the world, with more restrictions in some than in others. The Islamic Fast, as opposed to mere starvation or self-denial, is an act of worship and obedience to God, thanksgiving, forgiveness, spiritual training, and self-examination.

2. Ramadan gives us a break and provides us with a rare opportunity to think about our own selves, our future, and our families. It is a time to give our selves a mental break and to temporarily forget about the hundreds of worries and stresses we are constantly bombarded with. In hectic times, such as ours, and in places like the West, this valuable time to think about our lives, on individual basis, is a luxury and is desperately needed! It is a unique month of self-analysis, and of taking stock of one's moral and spiritual 'assets and liabilities'.

3. Fasting indoctrinates us in patience, unselfishness, and gratitude. When we fast we feel the pains of deprivation and hunger, and learn how to endure it patiently. The meaning of this powerful experience in a social and humanitarian context is that we are much quicker than anybody else in sympathizing with the oppressed and needy around the world, and responding to their needs. "

4. Fasting in Ramadan enables us to master the art of mature adaptability and Time-Management. We can easily understand this point when we realize that fasting makes people change the entire course of their daily life. When they make the change, they naturally adapt themselves to a new system and schedule, and move along to satisfy the rules. This, in the long run, develops in them a wise sense of adaptability and self-created power to overcome the unpredictable hardships of life! A person who values constructive adaptability, time-management, and courage will appreciate the effects of Fasting in this respect as well.

5. It cultivates in us the principle of sincere Love, because when we observe Fasting, we do it out of deep love for God. And a person, who loves God, truly is a person who knows what love is and why everyone on this Earth should be loved and treated justly, for the sake of God.


6. Fasting elevates the human spirit and increases our awareness of God. It strengthens our will-power as we learn to rise above our lower desires. The institution of fasting is both unique and a shared experience in human history. From the very beginning of time, humans have struggled to master their physical and psychological selves: their bodies and their emotions. Hunger is one the most powerful urges that we experience. Many, through over- or under-eating or consumption of unhealthy foods, abuse this urge. Thus, when a person purposefully denies something to their own self that it craves, they are elevating their mind above their body, and their reason and will above their carnal passions. "A fasting person empties his stomach of all the material things: to fill his soul with peace and blessings, to fill his heart with love and sympathy, to fill his spirit with piety and Faith, to fill his mind with wisdom and resolution," says H. Abdalati in Islam in Focus. The person who can rule their desires and make them work, as they like, has attained true moral excellence.


7. With the clarity of mind and absence of distractions, also comes a greater focus. As students, the period of fasting, especially early during the day, serves as a tool to focus our minds on our academics. In the month of Ramadan, many Muslims try to avoid watching TV, listening to music, and some other leisure activities, which spares them more time and energy to be spent on more productive activities such as academics, intense study of Islam, voluntary prayers, social and humanitarian causes, and a quality time with the family, to name a few. It is a reminder of our duty to God, our purpose and higher values in life, as God Himself describes the purpose of fasting as follows, "O you who Believe! Fasting has been prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, so that you may develop consciousness of God" (Quran 2:183).



8. Fasting has numerous, scientifically proven, benefits for our physical health and mental well-being. The time, length and nature of the Islamic Fast all contribute to its overall positive effect. One of the medical benefits is a much-needed rest to the digestive system. The reduced food intake during the day allows the body to concentrate on getting rid of harmful dietary toxins accumulated as natural by-products of food digestion throughout the year. The length of the Islamic Fast itself (around 12-14 hours) is in sync with the 'transit time' of food from the mouth to the colon of the large intestine, ensuring that no stimulus reaches the stomach or digestive system while it remains in homeostasis. Therefore, for the vast majority of healthy individuals fasting poses no medical risks but in fact provides many health benefits, such as: an increase in serum Magnesium, essential for cardio-vascular health and prevention of heart complications; improvement in the quality and depth of sleep; improvement in memory and slower skin aging over time; increased production of growth hormone, etc. Also, as a general note, it has been observed that underfed animals live longer than their heavily fed counterparts and suffer fewer illnesses during their lives.



9. The month of Ramadan provides us with a sort of "Boot camp." It is a month of intense moral training. Since we know that Fasting is a special duty prescribed by God, we learn that any sins may spoil our record of fasting with God, so we go through great lengths making sure we are on our best behavior. Many people who experience fasting in this month, feel the impact that this intense training has on their habits, and realize the power of this transformative tool designed to make us better human beings- the ultimate goal of any spiritual exercise. The entire Ramadan atmosphere provides the driving force for this positive change.



10. It makes us realize the reality of life and death. Fasting makes us realize how dependant our lives are on things that we often take for granted, such as food and water. It makes us think about our dependence on God and God's mercy and justice. Moreover, it reminds us of the life after death, which itself has a great impact on our character and our world-view.



11. Ramadan is a blessed month for a special reason: It is actually the month in which God first revealed His final message and guidance for mankind to our beloved Prophet Muhammad. This message has been perfectly preserved both orally and textually in the form of a Book, called the Qur'an (The Reading/Recital). Therefore, Muslims try to do an intense study of the Quran in this month especially, and evaluate their lives according to the standards and guidance contained in it.



12. After the month of Ramadan is over, Muslims celebrate one of the two most important holidays in the Islamic year: EID-UL-FITR, or the Festival of the Fast Breaking. It is a day to thank God for the blessing and training that He provides us with throughout the month of Ramadan. EID-UL-FITR is marked by praying in a huge congregation at an Islamic center or mosque, and by giving a small donation to the poor in the community. The adults give the donation on behalf of their children as well. Dinner parties, family outings, fairs, carnivals, and great joyous celebrations follow the prayer and charity.


In a nutshell, even though the real purpose of the dynamic institution of Fasting is to discipline our soul and moral behavior, and to develop sympathy for the less fortunate, it is a multi-functional and a comprehensive tool of change in various spheres of our lives, including: social and economic, intellectual and humanitarian, spiritual and physical, private and public, personal and common, inner and outer ---all in one!

Unknown status of Manal Ismail

What is it that is so bothering people about my status: single????


I am quite happy the way life is and I am quite grateful of what I have had so far and I am aspiring to achieve more and more in the near future for the betterment of my life.


I am not quite as what people perceive me as. I may look demure sometimes in my full office customs: tudung, baju kurung/ baju kebaya/ blouse and skirt/ blouse and slacks/ 3 inches heels/ 1 inch heels/ and I arrange them with some matching colour coordination whichever suits my taste and mood. But do not prejudge me just by what dress u see me in. I tried as much as possible to not expose a lot of flesh to the public but I also don some certain trendy tops and jeans that show off my curves. Heck I am voluptious and I am proud of my curves. The thing is a lot of men and women out there who are so not-very-sharp in looking at my physique. Just because i wear loose baju kurung, they think: "hey u put on weight". But then when i am in my casual (sometimes hawt) attire, i received some unusualy positive remarks like: "wow u look good", or "u lost a lot weight" or they just thought that i am an undergraduate, taken for an undergraduate, a fresh face at a company and so on.



I do not wreck any married people's marriage and I am certainly do not intend to do so even if a married man is bagging at my feet to accept him (ptuiihhh pi mampossss, pi balik to ur wife la, kalau tak suka dia sgt, divorce her or marry somebody else, and stop buggering me OK, comprende? capisci? katalavez? fahimta? faham? understand? samjay? and padan moka hang kawen that kinda lady)


I am thinking of getting married once i have sorted out some of the more IMPORTANT things first and foremost like trying to clear some overdraft and credit card debts and rebuilding my savings. And a few more other things like losing weight, revitalise myself, enjoying my freedom, and some few more things. I am not your normal 31 years old woman who is wallowing in self-pity for being unmarried and all. I have only started to really, really get to be in the man-woman affair and all things pertaining to it when i was 23. Although my first date was way back when i was 17, I have not totally blossomed into a full woman of integrity and one hawt woman not until 23 and above. I struggled to appreciate the best things about being a woman having grown up as a tomboyish tomboy (not exactly a tomboy but I dont like a lot of girly things and i was kinda rough). And once i knew how wonderful it was to be a woman in my own way, i see a bright future ahead and i see a LOT of new exciting things. After all, God created women equipped with their own very special strengths, intelligence and capabilities that (almost) do not exist in men.



I am a normal woman albeit one of a kind. I used to have some dark fantasies (well, not necessarily dark, but to conservatives and social conformists, they may take it as one) but I am making my own efforts to be a good muslimah in my OWN way. So dont u go blast me with woteva hell of holy scriptures u may wanna think of coz i am pretty much EDUCATED. You wanna go blabla about it, be a smart or equal to me and do it with hikmah and mau'izatul hasanah. Otherwise, shut ur gob and piss off.




You think that I have been missing a lot? Nope, certainly not, in fact, I am most certainly advanced and full of knowledge of anything to do with desire and sex education. I love to share the knowledge rather than listening to some people bragging about it. But i rather keep them to myself except to the man i love and very few openminded close friends who are not gonna be that judgmental and they are actually wanted to discuss on a certain issue relating to it in the name of knowledge.



I am enjoying learning so many things, God knows. And I know a lot of things about married life, kids, the upbringing process and so on. I may have to experience the labour pains, giving birth, and all that but i am a fast learner and a curious one too. I am not ashamed in asking anybody who i think knows better to be able to learn new things, and that include just about anything that i find interesting or am curious at, like learning more on web design, pc, car, chemical engineering stuff, new gadgets, and many2 more. I have been independent since I am 3 years old and getting better ever since.



I was sceptical about marriage in my early 20s and I was only beginning to accept the idea of it in my late 20s. I do not feel old (although sometimes i do get backpains, kneepains and stuff) and i act according to my age (sometimes i feel like i am older and sometimes i am like younger than my peers). I am ever so grateful that I did not get married in my early 20s.



Waiting for the right man???? N-O: NO. Preparing to settle down with the right man for me more likely. I saw couples at my friend's daughter's birthday party today, most came with 1, 2, 3 kids or more. And most couples are average looking people, or their wives looked better or both the husbands and wives deserved each other, none the better looking. Some are bloody smug married couple , like i give a fuck innit? I am not implying that I deserve a very good-looking man or anything like that, but of course, he would match my looks and my wisdom (yo bengal tiger, r u reading this? must rebuff ur physique a bit, love). He may or may not earn a PhD degree but his life experience and his passion towards his career building equal or higher than what i am.



When am I getting married??? There is this already-written-by-God thing and there is also when-do-i-feel-like-i-want-it-to.



Inlaws? I dont give much a toss on this. I am sometimes elusive, repulsive, impulsive, compulsive and an enigma to my family and u r expecting me to be goody2 very caring daughter/sister inlaw? U good to me, I good to u. U mess with me, u be very sorry (simple principle innit?). Call me self absorbed, but who the hell would u please other than urself first of all. And to love urself more too. I am so non-conformist, many typical malay guys would get scared of this. No laaa....not like i am gonna make ur parents's life a living hell. I am like Jennifer Lopez in Monster-Inlaw. Loving but with cautious and conscience. I had enuf with guilt-ridden for nothing. U cant please everyone so why dont u please urself first? As Mark Twain once quoted: "All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure". If u keep worrying wot everyone wants u to be or to do or woteva things they bitch/think about u, u aint going no where but definitely heading down the misery lane.



Am I beautiful? Yes (though overweight). Am I a good person? Yes. Then why am I not married yet? Because I lead/design my life the way I want it and not for you to dictate what u feel about me and this include my mother who has always been worried sick of this second daughter of hers. I always pray to Allah for her longevity and good life and she will be able to see each and every one of us settling down, having babies and all. Ameen. So far, four are already married out of her nine children and 3 of the married ones bore her grandchildren.


OK, lega....just venting out my disappointment.

*Dont care if u disagree or anything. Look after ur own life and family first before yap-yapping somebody else like some holier-than-thou.