Roger Federer: Will he or will he not?

Its already Day 5 into the Roland Garros aka French Open, and things are heating up so does the French weather judging by the bright sunny day as I watched the games on Astro channel 816+.


Will we ever gonna see him again like what he did back in US Open 2008 , throwing punches in the air and winning the only Grand Slam of 2008:

Or will he be doing his now infamous watershed trademark just like the one at the Australian Open 2009 nearly 4 months ago? :

He was so full of tears, trembling and mumbling words. And Nadal had had to console him even though that was supposed to be his Day! What a big baby Federer was. BUT then again, all those agonies of not beating Nadal and losing another of his favourite tennis court just took its tolls. Nadal "unceremoniously" defeated him at Wimbledon 2008 at what was touted as the game of the millenia and he did that again at Rod Laver arena. People have been saying that the only way to beat Nadal is at where he is best: Rolland Garros. However, they are also mean to Nadal, as if he always needed to prove he is WORTH his skills (and those butt scratching and bottle lining routines and counting the steps along the base line stuff) and that he is seen as the Obstacle to Federer. Cant they just leave him alone and stop crucifying him for making Federer the No.2? He's such a cutie. He is. In the rugged spanish way.

A few weeks ago, Federer has just defeated Rafael Nadal at the ATP Madrid Open 2009 AND the world was seeing a newly wedded man and a soon to be daddy looking all sharp and happy., full of satisfaction, something probably not even his Missus could have provided (OK I was talking cock, but Federer probably doing better with Wawrinka. OK My bad! Oops I did it again?) That was like his 1st ever win in 2009 as opposed to his appalling 1st quarter of the year performance. Save for his marriage and the baby news. Other than that, he seemed to not accumulating much point at all but he was and still is No.2 based on his over 10000 points , just a few hundreds, sorry, a few thousand short to Nadal's. Murray and Djokovic are catching up very fast too, in the 3rd and 4th place.

What about the Women's single drama? Dinara Safina is now the world no.1 and she has YET to win any Grand slam. Ana Ivanovic, though she has yet to win any for almost a year now, seemed to be playing really hard to win back the French Open title just like what she did last year. Safina has been winnning a few WTP tournaments already and she sure is on fire trying to prove the critics that she too is a grand slam champion material. Nevertheless we cannot sideline people like Serena, Venus, Jelena, and even Maria Sharapova is back with her revolting grunts (but kinda erotic too in a SnM way).

We will be seeing some few upsets soon too. And some new players making their first impact on the leading board. Its a whole "ball in the court" thingy. And some luck of course. Who will be doing more unforced errors and who will be capitalizing on it too.

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This is another ball game altogether.

We can call so many names, and curse many crude words when it comes to slamming a man. But if its a woman, either they are dumb or they are told off as the bitch (or cow). As in stupid cow, smart bitch, or just "bitch". Men are prolly so used to getting so many curses thrown at them that it prolly becomes like music to their ears except if they are told to eff their sister or mother or SOB. That would prolly set them off the hook and end up in a massive brawl.

Can we think of what else would send men berserk? They said those with a challenging something ( feel free to guess whatever u like) might have a shorter temper too but they arent necessarily the scariest.


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Am I intimidating? Or just assertive and gutsy? They say its in my eyes. They can turn from a humble loving glare to a fierce, fiery glare. I can make a baby love me or prolly scared of me. I can chase more than 20 monkeys away from our faculty porch and I can make a cat come purring and rubbing its head around my ankle. I could even make a cockroach creeping away to hide from me only to end up dead as I spray them with Shieldtox for roaches.

It prolly affect men too. It either lure them to me or scare the shit outta them. OK I was exaggerating but there were some truth in that too. My mother always told me (so as some of my friends) to not be garang sangat /little bit aggresive/ taunting with men (this she meant when I see a prospect). BUT I am not. OK sometimes a little bit and that remind me of Bree Van Der Kemp/Hodge (Desperate Housewives) doing her best "queen" look and talk, it either turn them on or repress them. Well, sometimes its hard to suffer a fool gladly so to speak.

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Oh well, lets leave a few more later. Nonetheless, I would like to remember ITEX 2009 that was held on 15- 17 May 2009 as a sweet memory winning a gold and bronze for two product inventions.

Of happier times and thoughtful exes

To be frank, I do not feel like posting an entry just to elaborate the subject above.

What is more, it could also bring tears to my eyes.


Despite whatever remorseful feelings and how I kept getting in and out of a relationship, I am grateful never the least. Consequently I cannot hate them or bear very ugly thoughts or murderous ones even. Sure such a relationship would led to two souls or just one feeling sad and blue, hurt and jilted. But come to think of it, would I want a divorce or a broken engagement? I certainly would not want that. Perhaps it is another reason and another challenge before I will get into another better level, meeting another better man and getting a better outcomes rather than facing yet another predicament.


What I have yet to achieve, I made it like a "volunteer" job to help uniting other people. Which gives me some sort of an inner satisfaction seeing them tying the knots. Which I know they are meant to be together. But my situation has it that I rather carry things on my own. That "on my own" are the very 3 words that could describe my actions, behaviour, decision, etc. That too made me a good observer and a well, I should say, have a knack in good character/personality judgment. But it does take time and patience while I am carrying out the observation part. Apparently,that observer skill does help instigate my self-control too. You see, I didnt fall in love right away and managed to do it so that I will bounce back into my usual momentum in a shorter period of time after one unsuccessful relationship. It keeps me grounded and wanting to be a better person having learnt more things in life.


And tomorrow I will be rekindling an old friendship with a girl mate after nearly 6 years of moving apart. We had a fall out in 2003 and then 5 years later, we reconnected through Facebook. She's now happily married to her long time boyfriend and they have a 7 months old baby girl. What pulled us closer again is perhaps the fact that we somehow share similarities in thinking and personality having born on the same birth date and year. One was born in Sri Lanka and yours truly was born in Malaysia. During the separation, we sort of keep in touch now and then through our mutual friends. I went asking about her, and I found out that she too did the same. WE did miss so many things during that 5 years. BUT i dont know why, probably it is a cosmic thing that I actually saw her wedding reception back in 2007 March in my dream. While I did not know that she got married that time, I kept that in my heart as it was too real.


Then some time in early 2008, well, almost a year after that, we added each other in the Facebook. I collected all the courage I had and began writing her an email telling her of my dream. I told her how surprised and amazed I was when I found out that she and her husband looked exactly the same in the dream as their wedding photos. That was how we gradually revive our old friendship. She would update me with the news on her 3 months pregnancy and 6 months later bearing the news of her 1st born baby. She emailed me photos of her baby girl too, from the few days of birth to a few months old.

As we spoke on the phone, it felt like we have never been apart. I know deep down that I was and still a bit nervous of such meeting, but I am liking the fact that no matter what , we feel for each other. Whatever anger, resentment, disappointment I had is slowly dissolving. Nevertheless, I must always remind myself to not repeat the same mistake again and be more matured and sensible. The fact that she is willing to see me again is something I really appreciate. We can forgive and we can never forget.

And to my exes, thanks for still being nice and thoughtful to me even if we are no longer a couple. It is awkward and can be very awkward at times talking/meeting with an ex, but their ability to charm their way in and to put me on a pedestal is somewhat a relief and a personal victory that I know I am appreciated and will always be, which makes me a very special person. Walaupun I juga sangat mengharapkan that bakal bini diorg will suffer but tu la kan, nak marah lama2 pun ape guna. Dia akan jadi milik orang lain seperti juga saya.