Friday, May 02, 2008

Are Malaysian Men Getting more Selfish in Bed?

The Star today has one most viewed article that (how obvious) has made me itchy to copy-paste (how normal these days considering I am like chock-a-block, almost totally inundated with piles of work to do!!) it to my blog.

It says a LOT on Malaysian men as well as the oriental and those in the far east. Although it could be taken out of perspective as, and I reckon so, those fellas might have been blushing to the reddest, bluest or even palest maybe when "interrogated"....or was it actually the ladies that have been willingly participating in the survey that has led to a rather dismal percentage on the account of failing to reach their orgasm, hence the grouses....I dunno....But I dont think men here (and anywhere on earth in general including those who are dwelling somewhere in the north pole and in the midst of the desert unless they are bed-ridden, dying, or handicapped that rendered them powerless) really have problem getting it off with or without their partners. Therefore, this 44% result was presumably obtained based on the ladies' opinions implying rather implicitly their disappointments.

Have a go at the article below to get more details:


Plenty of sex but for many, it’s not all the way

PETALING JAYA: Malaysians are having lots of sex but they just do not seem to be enjoying it all that much.

While last year’s Durex Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey said four in five Malaysians were having sex on a weekly basis – this year’s results reveals that only 44% of Malaysians managed to achieve orgasm every time they have sex.

However, Singaporeans fare worse. Only 36% usually manage to feel the earth move, according to the survey’s latest report entitled “The Big O”.

Gender-wise, 62% of Malaysian males almost always reach climax during sex while women get a raw deal – only 25% almost always achieving orgasm.

The survey also found that 86% of Malaysians who frequently had orgasm feel sexually at ease with themselves while 60% of those who regularly came to a climax also enjoyed good psychological health.

Globally, the leaders are the Italians, Spaniards, Mexicans and South Africans who are most likely to climax every time with 66% usually managing to hit the spot.

Least likely to achieve an orgasm are the Chinese and people from Hong Kong (both 24%), followed closely by the Japanese (27%).

Reproductive and sexual health specialist, Dr Mohd Ismail Mohd Tambi, said that while orgasms are not the be all and end all of sex, regularly achieving orgasms improves emotional and overall well-being.

“If you want to have an orgasm, it is important that you surrender yourself to the good feelings you are experiencing. Relaxation is crucial.”

Dr Mohd Ismail said work worries should also be left outside the bedroom as couples needed to have protected and uninterrupted time.

Globally, eight in 10 people who frequently have orgasm felt close to their partner during sex.

The survey was conducted among 26,000 people in 26 countries of which 1,026 were Malaysians.

They were questioned on key aspects of their sex lives such as health, education, beliefs, attitudes to sex and social circumstances.


What would that say about the Malaysian males? Any particular thought you have in mind?

I shall leave it at this point coz i am sooooo tied up with works, preparing presentation for weekend workshop, and etc.


By the way, the former Malaysia premier, Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohamad has created his own blog too : His daughter already has one: Rantings by Marina Mahathir and it has already reached over one million hits. With over 75% of this country's population enjoying the direct internet access and the recent political tsunami that has spread across the nation, it is without a doubt that blogging in Malaysia has become a powerful media tool in conveying messages and news (not to mention some propaganda as well). More and more politicians have started their own blog including the former Selangor menteri besar, Datuk Seri Dr Mohamad Khir Toyo (click here).


Typhoon Sue said...

y'know manal, Durex say they conduct the survey every year, but so far none of them has asked me or anyone I know.

diaorg interview saper selama nih? how could they use the word "so-and-so percentage of Malaysians" when so few of us actually take part in the surveys? I know for a fact i'm not accounted for in the 25%,.. errr... 75%... , err... whatever...


ruby ahmad said...

Hello Manal,

I agree with Typhoon Sue...he he. I pun belum pernah kena interview...aper daa? LOL!

Ask me lah! Blush already..ha ha.

Ms Istanbul said...

"It says a LOT on Malaysian men as well as the oriental and those in the far east. "

Well said Manal. But u know this stats, since it covers just above 1k of the population, we wouldnt know whether it is exactly representative. Well, unless they interviewed the urbanites and if they clearly are not satisfied,surely something must be done by the men.

But I pun tak pernah kena interview. Could be more biased. *LOL* We women love to compare what. As I mentioned to U.Lee some time ago, men and women are like wine. The older they get, the finer they become (and hence it applies to my taste of men). *winks*

U.Lee said...

Hi Manal, what you posted is one of my favourite subjects, ha ha. We have to take some salt and lemon grass where 'interviews', or 'polls' are concerned.
However, I do agree the fact that work, children, financial worries, in-laws or out-laws next room can be a put off....and this applies to Hong Kong where most of the population stay in two room apartments or stay with parents.
Also applies to Japan, Tokyo where homes are expensive and whole families live together. I have good friends, of both species who keeps me informed, ha ha.
From my point of view and strictly my personal opinion and experiences...I will add or point to some of the many reasons why sexual fulfillment is or not often achieved....
Apart from what I mentioned above,....
Not in sequence:
1/ self hygiene can contribute to a certain extent to bedroom failures. Applicable both species.
2/Unless its a relationship in beginning stages, its all moonlight and roses, but after one kid, things go on cruise control.
3/ There is no real bed room chats, I mean real intimate chats between him and her. HE must initiate it.
4/ Where sex is concerned, most couples, married or otherwise tend to have fun and in less than 15 minutes, game over, with or without fireworks with one partner.
5/ Before marriage, both parties are at their best. 4 months into a relationship, both parties are relaxed in dressing, and things slow down. This applies very strongly when after marriage, first kid arrives.
6/ Wife or husband tired from work or kids, and do 'it' as a kind of duty.
I can go one with more, but will potong to one of THE MAIN contributions of sexual failure to a man, as well to a woman. In this matter, I first blame the man, and then the woman.
To me personally, it is a sin to have everything over and done with in less than 20 minutes!
Every man, every woman at some time or other will have or have sexual fantasies. Either with neighbours wife, daughter or Salma Hayek. She? With Ken Watanabe or Sean Connery or Daniel Craig, new 007.
I have not met or know a woman who has not had sexual fantasies, at one time or another or daily.
But one of THE BIGGEST sexual failure contributor is, bedroom intimate chats.
Most men, believe it or not are shy. 85% of my male friend are (according to their wives).
And most women CAN be conservative especially if strong mother influence, she who lives in the past before there were footsteps on the moon.
This is where the man MUST TAKE the initiative.
Seduction techniques must come into play here.
Teasing before, light touches, compliments to her to begin with.
Being adventurous.
AND! Once she is in the mood, never ever slam bang, thank you ma'am should be executed.
I believe that applies to Hollywood movies only.
Tease and enquire, ask, find out what she likes, enjoys most? Quite a lot of women will be too shy to expose herself to saying what SHE REALLY LIKES OR ENJOYS. Thus..HE should first tell her by complimenting her first, that he loves her very much and her beauty makes HIM want to do things to her. That only by engaging in certain activities he WILL enjoy her beauty.
Encourage, motivate, tittilate her till she confesses or confides.
However, there are women who are very conservative will not, dare not, do not want to be adventurous, thus the man has to apply some Ninjalogy here, ha ha.
Sex is just not a slam bang, thank you ma'am should involve A LOT OF foreplay, and I mean the kind of foreplay that leaves a woman gasping till she puts up a white flag...
And by that knowing the fact a man is different to a woman, where she is capable of having multiple orgasms, HE a one time only....thus, he MUST ensure she achieves hers, and not once but several times if he knows she is a multiple person.
Not all women are multiples...a lot are singles, *wink*. Somehow I find Libra persons are more often than not, *wink*.
And, the only way HE CAN make her achieve the above is by being VERY adventurous, treating the final act of sex as THE gran finale...but the first hour or so as 'coming attraction' like in movies showing what is coming next.
There are many ways of making a woman achieve VERY EXPLOSIVE orgasms, leaving her breathless and even semi conscious.
A true lover, the man I mean must take the fact that if she does not cry out for the US Marines or imitate the mating call of a Canadian Timber wolf, he has failed.
Get a woman to achieve an explosive orgasm where the earth stops moving, birds start to sing, the bed does a rock and roll and maybe the neighbours wondering who getting choked, and if he is a bachelor, his reputation MIGHT spread, if a married man. he sure going to get those sly, sexy looks from the wife next morning, plus a good, hefty breakfast too.
To me, it all boils down to foreplay and being VERY ADVENTUROUS, a real Indiana Jones or a 007 in bed. And to take a woman's explosive cry when she arrives at Nirvana as the ultimate gold medal in sex.
Where I am concerned, my young days I mean, I start the teasing on the 3rd date. Never on 1st date, she'll think I only want her for sex. (sure I do, but I never rush things. A gentleman never does.)
The moment an opportunity arises, I will tell her teasingly that her beauty, her figure makes me have ALL KINDS of fantasies.
I will ensure what I say to her will gurantee a respond with a flirtatios hand brush on her hair, a cheeky or sexy look and her response, "tell me".
And that as incik Sherlock said once, "elementary, my dear Watson".
You have a nice evening, Manal. Best regards, Lee.
ps, the above giving me thoughts of maybe my next posting. By the way, pop over my place. Have something close to your posting.

Sweet Jasmine said...

wow...manal...what a hot topic here....but i guess I had not much to add here....with all the advise given by the 'love doctor'lee here....on the making of a true lover.......

So to all husbands, lovers, boyfriends....get some sex education here....

Madam Curi said...

Dear Manal, this is hot. I wonder who are the people being interviewed. No one ever interviews me.

Ms Istanbul said...


tumpang lalu; Lee, Trust me, the person will not be upset with the forwarded comment as he is *coughs* not part of the stats. *winks* Also, it is good to get some tips from an experienced person *winks*.

It's all about quality. If I have a bradd pitt equivalent next to me yet clearly has no GPS system, definitely a turn off. I rather stick to my book and a good night sleep.

Now where is that book again...

kc said...

since when married couples have orgasm...hahahahaha!

The Pisces Man said...

You know Durex's survey always tend to create some controversy over their findings.

Anywya, they have a factory at my hometown. I once answered and submitted their questionnaire, with an expectation that my contribution would appreciated by them giving me a free gift. But the gift never arrived.

So, if they can't fulfill a simple promise to a customer, can we rely on them on such small-scale surveys? Hehheee..

Hmmmm..... orgasm...orgasm.. hard to say, hard to get, sometimes easy to get but most of the times, too tired or hard to find the time to get one! Ahak ahakkk... (not saying this represents me ok ;ppp)

Rt Hon Sir Cipan Nougat-Tenuk said...

I found that one of the best foreplay scenario is to start on your woman when she's yakking away happily on the phone ...

And the reason why some couples fail to hit the moon is because they're rushing/anxious to get there.

Rule No 1 to Good Sex - relax
Rule No 2 - be playful
Rule No 3 - use your imagination.

Mel Ija said...


I LOVE the topic. Even before you brought it up, I read it in the paper already. Kind a sad isn't it? That it just had to be applied to the Eastern people.

Now orgasm.. hhmm.. I tend to agree to what your friend U.Lee seems to say. To me, Asian men just wants to get it over and done very quickly. It's ok if their partners do not achieve orgasm, but they MUST achieve orgasms. To me, not fair lah kan. You have to make your partner happy too. It can't be one-sided. I have a friend (married for abour 5 months now), and she has NEVER achieved orgasm. And she really wants to know how it feels. Kesian dia. To her, sex is just about pleasing the men, in this case, her husband. When she does it, she can't wait for the thing to end. She sometimes count the minutes. To her, that thing is especially designed for the men. I pity her for feeling that way. And she just got married, some more. And NO kids. Pity kan..

zewt said...

think malaysian men are too busy working... till late at night... where got power to go all the way?